So, I may have a gambling problem... and my 21st Birthday "Vegas" trip is creeping up on me. That can never be a good sign...

For those of you who may not know: in certain states, people are allowed to gamble on Indian Reservations if you are 18 or older. There aren't any Indian Reservations with Casinos in Kansas, so I travel "Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain". That's right, Oklahoma.  Picture this: Vacant, run-down buildings everywhere, trailer homes in every direction, rusted vehicles parked in lots on every corner... and BAM! A 5-star hotel and casino right yonder. Not kidding. As a guest in the hotel, you could easily imagine being right on the Vegas strip, but look out a window and no, there's never-ending forests with ghost towns scattered in every direction.

Now that you can see where I'm spending my money, you can understand how it's even possible a 20-year old can have a gambling addiction.

Anyways, I have this idea stuck in my head that I will win a million dollars when I go to the casinos... This has been my goal the past 10 times I've been gambling... and no, I've never come home with a cent more than I took. Hell, I've NEVER brought money back with me. I spend it all- a whole whopping $50. In fact, the casino often sends promotions through the mail based off of my spendings... which my family and friends get "free stays at the hotel" and "free money for spending"... My coupons, however, say "Remember to spend more money to get the casino rewards"...

Nevertheless, I'm still addicted. The only reason I only bring $50 to the casinos is because if I brought more, I would definitely spend it. And now, my family has planned a trip to Vegas for my 21st birthday... and I'm freaking out! How much do I take? Especially for 5 days? Plus money for food and drinks? Oh shoot, my nerves are shot just thinking about it. Damn it! If it wasn't for the kids doing so well on "Vegas Vacation", I probably wouldn't have ever dreamt about winning! It just looks so easy on T.V. Either way, playing the slot machines is definitely a fun pass-time. The music, the free drinks, and the many new slots with the touch screen which I have no idea how to play, is just exhilarating.

I guess the lesson in all this is: 1) Watch Suzie Orman once a week. 2) Don't believe everything you see on the television. and 3) play the penny slots to save money :)

So from now on, I'll be saving my money... or my change, I guess. I don't have lots of money sitting around. Till then.

I've been going through some of my Grandmother's old photos. I'm slowly starting to scan them all, but I'm having trouble staying focused on that task... Every once in a while I'll come across very neat photograph and I have the urge to photoshop them into ever "neater" pieces of art. Here is a photo I doctored up. The original is the b&w one, of course! Hope you find them as cool as I did. They were taken at "Old Faithful" at Yellowstone Park in 1947. Great representation of the time period.

We've all lost someone special in our lives. Today, I lost my best friend- Woody. Woody was my family's first pet and this morning he peacefully left our lives. I don't have much to say about losing our pet, but I just wanted to post something about him. I know some people may think it weird to mourn the loss of a pet, but I find it rightfully just when you've had an animal in your lives for 14 years. I grew up with him and he's been with me during every step of my life.

Here's a picture of Woodrow. He's a Bassett Hound, 14 years of age and this picture was taken approximately 10 years ago. We were bored one day and decided to dress him up in some of my brother and I's baby clothes.

If you live in the states, there's a good possibility that it's -5 degrees outside with more than an inch of snow on the ground. As a Kansas resident, I've been cooped-up in my house for two days with a foot of snow on the ground. My parents received 17" of snow, which the local news reporters are saying is the most snow Kansas has gotten in the past 60 years. Facebook groups are now sprouting up everywhere named "Snowpocolypse" and "Real-Life Day After Tomorrow", and I'm proud to say that I've joined both of them. Now I'm not one to find a foot of snow really interesting, but it's not just the midwest that has recently received so much white stuff. The east coast has also got a couple of feet within the last two months. It's freakish, but who doesn't love a little / lot of snow?

In light of it all, my father sent a picture of our cows back on the farm. I thought it was hilarious.

Okay, so I've created two different blogs. One for my personal life and one for reviews and entertainment. I've done away with my personal blog because I could never find anything to write about. I would sit there for an hour with no exciting things to write. However, every now and then I'll think about something I'd like to write, and I have no personal blog. So, I'm going to combine some of my personal thoughts and stories with the entertainment articles that I already include in this blog.

Hardly anything will change, but there will just be more than personal stuff mixed in here or there. Hope you enjoy it all.

Blog later.

This is a blog about my favorite things, right?... well this post is just the opposite. It's a synapse of the least favorite year of my life (just this past week). Read it and weep- not really. I understand that my problems seem very minuscule to other people's problems, but all comparisons aside and just viewing this a "Me" and my life- these issues are pretty big.

Just a little warning. This is a personal message- not any review about entertainment or media. It's what I like to call an "Official Emo-Blogger's Post"...

This week has officially gone from bad to worse to horrible; all in just seven days. I returned from Thanksgiving break only to find that my house had been broken into and all of my expensive items had been stolen… which are replaceable. However, the hunting knife my Grandfather gave me before he passed away is irreplaceable. I quickly got over the robbery when I realized that everything that had been stolen is covered under our insurance. Even though that is the case, it still majorly bothers me that my house, my room had been violated by someone who was not welcome there. The feeling is strange. I know that I’m financially insured, but it upsets me further that there are people out there who feel the need to just help themselves to whatever they like. Obviously these “people” are dangerous. If they can break into someone’s home, forget all morals and laws and not worry about the repercussions, then what else are they capable of doing? This was my first upset of the week.

On the following Saturday, sibling rivalry arose between my brother and I. After a heated argument, my brother decided that he should vandalize my car- that that would put everything into perspective for me so I could see things on his level. Obviously this just pissed me off even further. Again, this is another thing that I have to worry about this week. What I should be worrying about are finals next week. This year has been especially hard for me with academics. I’ve had trouble before, but that was justified by lack of studying and not attending class. This year, however, has been much different. I attended class regularly, studied greatly for tests, spent numerous hours a week on homework, and fretted over material I couldn’t understand. I turned to Google for most of my help because my teachers weren’t depicting it when it came to teaching. All in all, when it comes down to the last week of classes, I’ve ended up with an F, D, 2 Cs and a B. These grades definitely don’t constitute a “fail-out”, however they don’t meet the minimum GPA requirement of the University which results in myself being put on Academic Probation.

Unfortunately this will be my second time on probation. It’s horrible, and I know that- which is why I’m on the brink of an academic breakdown. What did I do wrong this time? Not spend enough time on homework? Well I’ve spent at most 8 hours on one assignment alone. Not enough studying? I start at least 3 days ahead of test time and spend many hours a day studying. I don’t know. It’s gotten me down pretty far. Next semester will definitely be different because I’ll be starting on a major I really enjoy. But for now, the sad thing is that I’m not scared about screwing up some grades. What I am scared about is what my parents will do. It’s sad when all you think about is pleasing your parents- which is definitely not how it should be. But when I’m threatened to fund my own college if I can’t get good enough grades, it adds extra pressure on me, which often results in worse grades. The last time I was on academic probation, I had to dive into my personal savings and pay for tuition myself. No loans, not anything to help. Now, that’s what I’m facing again.

As for the horrible end to my week of hell; I just learned last night that my Great-Great Grandmother passed away- funeral pending this weekend, the weekend before finals. So will I be able to focus enough to get the grades I need on my finals? We will see. All I would like is understanding- that I am trying as hard as I can. This is life, not high school. I may have seemed like a prodigal twin 4 years ago, but now I’m my own person- not to be compared to my family of "geniuses" (how they portray themselves to be).

So what do I need to fix all of this? I need Christmas break to start now!

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